We watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua or something last night and I asked Mother why I don’t have a Harry Winston diamond collar and don’t have my own pool and don’t get to go to a doggy spa. She sort of scoffed and said “When I win the lottery hon until then you make do your Swarovski crystal one”. Pfft!

Mother got this amazing treat making machine! She puts all sorts of thinly sliced meats and liver and tendons in it and they come out dried like chips or jerky! She kept referring to it as a dehydrator. I call it God. Mother went to the wet market (Tekka Market actually) to get me beef liver and beef tendons and a rack of lamb ribs. She haaaaates wet markets and told me she held her breath and tip toed around the entire time! She kept saying “see what Mummy does for you!!” as she snipped up the tendons (oh she hates handling raw meat too. *snigger*). She made liver treats and tendon chewies (just like my favourite ones which she used to buy from the petstores!). She says home made treats are healthier and wants to make some for friends! She’s even made some dried apple slices for herself. I didn’t like those. Ick. For dinner, I was given 2 raw ribs for dinner. LOVED them. I’m happy to hear that Mother will be feeding me raw on weekends! She’s sold on the idea that chewing the bones will keep my teeth cleaned, and she feels this way I’ll get the best of both worlds – home cooked AND raw! I like raw. I feel like the wolf in me emerges. Roowrrrr! Or whatever sounds wolves make.

Sorry I hadn’t been updating my blog much last week. I stepped on a wriggling dying bee and got stung on my paw! Mother kept slapping her forehead saying that only I can get stung on my PAW of all places. She pulled the stinger out for me (she used a tweezer then later realized she shouldn’t have because she could have forced more venom in!!) then applied a paste of baking soda and water to it to neutralize the venom. To relieve the pain she tried to dip my paw in a cup of icy water but soon gave up and let me paw the ice from my bowl instead. Fun! It was like a game! Thankfully my paw didn’t swell up and I had no allergic reaction to the sting (no vomiting, difficulty in breathing, epilepsy, etc). Phew! That’s a picture of the stinger and some of the bee’s butt flesh. It wasn’t terribly big, more like a tiny splinter but STILL!

I’m getting a new trainer! Mother is sick and tired of being pressured at every single training class to put a prong collar on me. She will happily forfeit the $800+ she has spent for my classes if she never has to be told to “let the collar do the talking” ever again. I overheard her conversation with Grandpa where she went “If that’s the case, then I might as well just buy the collar and fire the trainer! Who needs a trainer when all you do it let the collar do its work?? That’s not training! What a load of bullcrap. I don’t need to be told at every single lesson that if I put a prong collar on Romeo he will be more attentive. I already said NO. Which part of that doesn’t he understand?! Stupid fool. Don’t come and tell me you’ve trained hundreds of dogs with a prong collar. For every 100 he’s trained this way, another 100 have been trained using a choke chain. Should I use that too!? And another 100 trained using purely positive methods! If he is such a good trainer then bloody find an alternative solution for me! I should have known. I did see an electric collar on one of his dogs. Poor Jack would yelp and cry out everytime he barked and got zap. He really ought to put in writing that ALL STUDENTS ARE TO USE PRONG COLLARS because really, we’re NOT given a choice at all. If I had known I wouldn’t have signed up. I’m surprised no one other than myself has questioned the need for such collars on their dog. Surely someone must have thought “there has to be a better way”?!?” Mother was super pissed off on Sunday and vowed never to go back to him again. She’s currently looking for another trainer.

Wowee! I’ve just added a new treat to my TOP 10 FAVOURITES list! STEAMED CHICKEN! Mother wanted a healthy alternative to the other high value treats and decided to go cheap and picked up some raw chicken (she wanted roasted meats but no one could tell her what seasoning went into it and she didn’t want to take any chances!) which she steamed just before we went for our walk!

I LOVE IT! I’m getting more today apparently. Mother’s been trying to get me to focus more on her so she said she needed something that’ll get my attention (oh boy oh boy!) but which was healthy (she keeps saying I’m fat!). She also went out and bought 2 15 feet long leashes for distance work. We only used one yesterday. She’d at random places, stop and ask me to look at her. Then when she saw dogs in the distance, she would do the same, then wait until they got closer and asked me to look at her again! I know she’s pretty (coughs) but really, there’s just so much of her I can take! She also did the same thing with barking dogs behind gates. We’d go closer and she’d stop and make me watch her. She gets very happy when I staaaaarreee at her.

She trained “come” outdoors where there was some distraction (traffic, a couple of people walking). She said I did good when I bounded to her. Then she trained sitting at a distance from a stand stay using the same 15ft leash. And also standing at a distance from a sit stay, except every time she asks me to stand, 15 ft away, I tend to take one or 2 steps forward too! She’s not liking that! She says she’s going to increase the distance tonight. Then on Sunday, we’re going to take it to the Botanical Gardens – a place with even more distractions! She’s hoping to get a couple of strangers (esp kids) to feed me some treats! I already love children, Mother, but if you want them to feed me, SURE!

Last Saturday morning Mother took me to the Animal Resort! FINALLY! It was bright and sunny and Father drove us to the place. Uncle K was there training his German Shepherd. Mother wanted to go say Hi, but then saw that the GS pup was being trained to attack the training helper’s arm (looked like fun!) and decided against it! She was afraid I’d get mauled. PFFFTT. Please. First of all, Uncle K’s dogs are super well trained AND I can hold my own, thank you very much! So instead, she took me around to meet rabbits, peacocks, goats, cranes, geese (scary!) and a HUGE prehistoric looking bird that is as tall as a short man with a beak as long as a leg! It snapped its beak and I jumped. Father says it reminds him of Mr Burns from the Simpsons.

Sunday was dreary. It rained and rained. When it let up in the afternoon, Mother took me to walk around the neighbourhood. I met my rough collie friend and his ‘brother’ Sparky again! Sparky is so barky. Hurhur. No class on Sunday because there was some agility trials that day. Saturday saw me losing focus. Well, not really, I was totally focussed! Just not on Mother and training, but on Muffy the mongrel from Thailand! Muffy doesn’t really like other dogs and snapped at me when I tried to make my Casanova move which got me abit rattled so I ended up yelling at her in frustration. Pfft. You’ve not experienced anything until you’ve experienced The Romeo! Mother’s also getting increasing pissed off with the trainer coz he keeps pressuring her to put that prong collar on me. Mother’s just about ready to box his ears.

Mother is doing some housekeeping and wants to sell of a few items.

Crate *** SOLD ***

Here’s a nice blue/black crate that is practically brand new! I’ve used it only once – on the day I was brought home from the pet store. I don’t know what possessed Mother to buy one! I would have much rather sat on her lap instead of in the box. Still, this is a plastic crate that has a metal gate with double catches (you have to press and hold down 2 grips to open the cage) and with 2 large air vents (or hand vents for you to put your hand in!). The crate measures 20 inches in length by 11 inches in height and 10 inches in width. The reason why Mother wants to sell it is because I can no longer fit (my body length from neck to ass is already 17 inches!). In fact I don’t think I could have fit 3 months ago – I grow fast! Mother doesn’t remember how much she bought it for but will sell it for S$25!

Mother also wants to sell the following items she bought online:

Muttluks All Weather Boots!
I love these boots but they are too big for me! What the?! It’s X-Small (and Mother says I’m fat! PFFT!) I’ve only worn it 3 times then Mother gave up. It’s nice and clean coz she’s (instructed the maid to) washed it nicely. These shoes fit those with doggy feet sized 2 3/4 inches (7 cm) (measure tip to heel when foot is pressed onto the floor). They are bright yellow with a reflective stripe (good for nights!) and they stay on well coz it’s got that socky garter thingy AND a velcro. The shoes let my feet breathe (so it doesn’t get stinky) and they’ve got a waterproof leather base. I have tried other shoes but these are the best so far – comfortable! I don’t walk awkwardly in these! Great for daily walks (prevent callousy paws) especially now that it’s rainy (bye bye ticks in paws and wet feet!). Mother will be buying a smaller pair for me (YAY!). Because I’ve used it before Mother says I should sell it at half price. She bought these for US 39.95 (about S$55-60 depending on the ever fluctuating exchange rate!). I am selling it at S$25! Not that I’m saying anything but really it’s a steal considering how the pet stores are selling crappy ones for S$30+ that FALL APART after a few uses! I would know. I have a few of those. Hmpf.

American Kennel Club Doggy Raincoat

Mother, being extremely paranoid, became concerned about the rainy weather and bought me a raincoat. I think this was mostly because we were out on a walk once and it rained very heavily drenching us both to the bone (well, more HER than me because I have my thick coat and she was carrying me and using her body to shield me). Anyway!

These are bright orange in colour (high visibility) with reflective stripes down the side. It’s not like those other raincoats that just cover the top of the body. These also cover the legs and UNDERSIDE of the body! Garters at the leg openings keep the rain out! There’s also a hole for dingalings to hang out. It’s also got a little clear visor attached to the hood so that I can still see through it but my eyes are shielded from the falling rain. I have to sell this coz Mother says I’m too fat. She put it on me and could baaaarely pull the jacket together (closes at top/on the dog’s back). I couldn’t really move when she managed to close the jacket. I’m not fat Mother! It’s the fur! And the big bones! The length of the jacket is 13.5 inches (from neck opening to hem) and 20 inches circumference at the widest part of the chest. This is brand new! Tags are still there. Mother got it at US$21.99 (about S$30) but will let it go at S$25 since it’s Christmas season and all!

Martingale collar *** SOLD ***

Here is the Martingale collar I was complaining about in my previous post. I didn’t like it because it was too big but you might! It’s going for cheap at S$5! Practically brand new since I’ve only used it once! It’s not a choke chain just in case you saw the chain and went *gasp!* It’s like a normal collar that you can adjust so that when the chain is pulled taut, the collar part closes (see those 2 rings at the end of the black collar) to fit just nice around the neck (not so loose your head can pop out when you pull!)! When the chain is loose (while walking for eg) the collar is also loose around the neck – far more comfortable than those normal collars! Given that Shelties are like whippets with fur and whippets tend to have larger necks than their heads, our heads tend to slip out of conventional collars if we pull (backwards) unless they are quite tight around the neck. Martingale collars solve this problem! They were originally used for whippets and greyhounds but are now commonly used with all other breeds because they tend to be safer (especially for reactive dogs!) Mother thinks that the collar can be used on those with 9 or 14 inch necks!

Those who are interested can just leave a comment and Mother will get back to you on your queries, the logistics, etc.

I hate Christmas carols! I didn’t last month, but since 1st December Mother has been singing them (badly) around the house and it sucks not to be able to stuff my paws in my ears. I try to get away by sleeping in a corner of the room hoping that she won’t see me behind the bed, but noooo she’ll come prancing along singing “all I want for Christmas is youuuuuuu” and point at me and rub my face and smooch me. Ugh. Annoying!

And then when she’s settling into bed and I’m getting comfy in my cage, she starts staring at me like I’ve got a monkey on my back. I’m like “Wassup y’all?!” and she just keeps staring. And then she starts fidgeting with the blanket that covers half the cage and brings out the humidifier and mumbles something about me breathing heavily and being hot. Mother gets so incredibly paranoid when she sees my chest expand 0.2 inches more than usual. *rolls eyes* Since the pneumonia incident when I was just over 3 months old she would stare at me when I’m sleeping or about to go to bed just to make sure I’m breathing properly. She’s afraid of losingher precious boy. Pfft. As if I’d let her off so easily!

Not being able to solve the problem in the cage, she decided to leave the cage door open throughout the night so I can walk around and get THE SAME AIR as I do in the cage anyway! My Mother is not very smart. I ended up going back into the cage for my Zzzs!

I do however hope that Mother won’t close the cage door anymore and give me some freedom in the night. Mother said that she’s going to seal up the balcony and make that little alcove my bedroom! Yay! She’s going to drape a curtain over the doorway so that I have my own private space. I hope I get a new bed too! Coz the other 2 in the room just don’t cut it! Woohoo! My very own bachelor pad!

Mother left me by my lonesome again this weekend. Ok I wasn’t completely along since there were some 4 other people in the house, but it felt pretty boring without Mother around! When she got back on Sunday night she said she’d take me to the Animal Resort on Monday! Whee! I’ve wanted to go there FOREVER! But you know, I must be the most unlucky dog because Monday was nothing but rain rain rain. Mother was mad. She shook her fist at the sky and said some words I didn’t understand that sounded like ‘duck’.

As a consolation, I was given A RAW LAMB SHANK that Mother had bought from the butchers! Mother pinched her nose with one hand and with the other carried the big juicy meaty bone to the dining room and dropped it on the floor. She kept complaining that it smells gross (Mother’s mum said the house smelt like Tekka market) but it was divine to me! I had so much fun chewing and tearing at the flesh and gnawing at the bone! I hope Mother gives me another one! It can rain all week for all I care! So long as I get a raw flesh covered bone!

I’ve been playing with this toy that’s like a rubber ball with 2 flat sides that you squeeze these food/treat discs into. It bounces around and drives me utterly MAD. I keep yelling at the thing to stop moving and to release the discs but nothing happens! It’s called the Everlasting Treat Ball (how apt) by StarMark pet products. Mother loves it because it keeps me occupied while she gets ready for work. I don’t understand why she needs to spend so much time on her makeup and hair. I mean, look at me! I look great and I spend only 15 minutes a day on grooming!

Oh yea. Dear ol’ Mother, impulsive online shopper that she is, has bought stuff which she now wants to sell because (she claims) I’m too fat and can’t fit into them. I think she’s just bitter that she got the sizing wrong. I’m not fat! I’m big boned! I’ll get more information and put it up soon!

My mother is weird. She thinks I’m a cam-whore even though she’s the one with the aposable thumbs and the camera phone. Still, I must admit that I look downright handsome! (see photos for evidence)

Mother has been shopping for me online alot. She’s already bought me TWO christmas gifts, and a santa hat which I am supposed to wear for our next Sheltie gathering. NOoooo!!! I need to maintain my macho image!! AND she also bought this little red heart pendant that says “best friends” which comes in 2 halves so she can wear one and I can wear the other half. THAT’S SO GAY MOTHER. Still, what could I do but sit obediently as she clipped it on, cooing “ooh, we’re best friends aren’t we Romeo? Mummy looooves you.” Sigh.

In the spirit of trying new doggy things (including how to gay up a manly dog), Mother bought a martingale collar at the recommendation of several sheltie owners from the States. They raved about it and said even if their dog bolts, the collar won’t plop off the dog’s head from all the pulling. I don’t pull so I have no idea why Mother would need this. I think it’s because her father walked me one day when she was out of town and I wasn’t so obedient with him and the collar actually did come off (much to Mother’s horror). The one she got had a metal chain attached to the fabric collar. It’s pretty heavy for my neck! I don’t like it, and Mother was worried that the collar will slip off because of the weight of the chain. I told her to go buy a better all-fabric one, but she just threw up her hands and said “there’s just not much variety in Singapore!”. She’ll find a nice one for me online – one that will of course, match my leash!

Oh oh, Mother’s been very pervy lately. She’s had to rub my balls twice a day! I’ve got a fungal infection on my precious jewels. I think she takes too much pleasure in it really. It’s no fun getting this cold cream touching your sensitive baubles. She said it has cleared up abit so hopefully I won’t have to take much more of her molestation!

We had another Sheltie gathering yesterday morning! At Bishan Dog Run. Not many turned up – just Cuddles, babies Reyla and Ruthie,  Buddy, Prince, Meteor and Shadow the Border Collie. I had great fun being the big brother to Reyla and Ruthie! I think they like me. We were chasing each other (they were chasing me more!) all over the place! A corgi mix that was from the SPCA scared the babies quite a bit, so Mother said I should play with them to get them over the bad experience. I hope they are ok – it was their first Sheltie gathering!

An interesting thing happened tho – I witnessed my first dog fight! Sort of. Prince, Meteor and Shadow were barking at each other as they dragged Auntie J towards the dog run. When they were let loose in the dog run, Shadow attacked Meteor!! Prince tried to intervene and save his buddy too. Auntie J quickly and firmly got hold of Shadow (respect mah authoritah!) then Cuddles papa tried to grab hold of Meteor but he got bitten in the hand by Shadow! He says he’s ok tho’. Shadow finally dropped poor Meteor who yelped painfully and ran off to a corner to hide. I’m sure he had puncture marks under that thick coat of his. EVERYONE at the dog run was looking at us! Shadow is a very dominant dog! Barking and posturing the whole time! Auntie J had to keep him on a tight leash. I didn’t like that he bullied Meteor so I ran up to Shadow and started barking at him! He’s a bad boy! Mother then put her arms on her hips and yelled at me to stop being a hero! She and Auntie J said be careful or I’ll be bitten too! Mother shooed me away to play with the baby girls instead. Pfft. I want to be a superhero not a babysitter!

Prince spent most of his time at the dog run barking at Shadow while Meteor was hiding behind a tree or hanging back in the corner. If anyone went near him, he’d yelp! Poor Meteor. Apparently they fight alot at home too and Meteor always gets picked on but Prince always saves him. I think there’s a power struggle in that doggy household. Both Prince and Shadow are very dominant males.

Went for obedience training too. The trainer wanted Mother to use a prong collar on me, what the trainer called a “training collar”, but Mother told him no. She said she didn’t want to use it on me and the trainer said ok, but added that it’s not as painful as it looks and that Mother will really see a difference. Mother doesn’t think so, and she doesn’t think I need it! She was given the collar yesterday and she tried it on her thigh. She didn’t think it hurt but thought it was unnecessary to use physical discomfort when a simple No associated with a bad feeling will do!

She also said to me that I am very obedient already – I always listen to her and she doesn’t have to yank and drag me all over the place. She doesn’t expect me to be friggin’ Lassie, thank god! She’s seen other dogs who have been using this collar since day 1 of obedience training and their owners still have to pull and drag and they don’t listen to them at all.

Mother isn’t convinced that it really works and she thinks that there are other more effective methods. She believes that she would rather I listen to her because I want to (and I do) and in any case, she’s doing agility (the trainer wanted her to use it for pre-agility classes too) not to join competitions or for fame and glory on her part but for me to have some fun! Using a prong collar would make it NOT fun and unpleasant, so what’s the point? She promised me that she will never use a prong, choke or electric collar on me ever.

And to prove Mother right, I performed way better than my classmates yesterday! Hah! Suck it people! We were made to stand our front legs on a short stool and move our backlegs only and go around the stool (like the hands of a clock!). I could do anti-clockwise better!

I am now officially a MAN. Ok, maybe not. I mean MALE DOG. My balls have decided to show themselves much to my perverted Mother’s delight! They are dangling there for show now. Phew! Had me worried there for a while.

Today we went to the West Coast Dog Run again. Mother thinks it is ok to drag me out at 8am in the morning. But I got to meet many many dogs today, surprisingly! Including Millie the labradoodle that I’m in love with. Mother then took me (all muddy) to the groomers and she later complained that my haircut costs more than hers. What the hey – I look great! And I smell FANTASTIC!! I should try to wow the girls tomorrow at the Sheltie gathering to be held at Bishan Dog Run.

Tonight I showed Mother what a great boy I am. I helped her find a cockroach in her room. I alerted her to it by staring intently at an area. I should have barked but that’ll scare the bug away won’t it? Boy did I get alot of lovin’ for that! Mother actually wanted to train me to find roaches, but then decided otherwise when she realised that would mean she actually has to be in close contact with one. She hates them. I guess that was my way of apologising to Mother for giving her a heart attack when I start breathing really noisily, like I had trouble breathing or was choking during pre-agility class. She turned so pale I thought she was going die. I don’t know what I did – I think I must have snorted in some grass or something got stuff somewhere, but our trainer was signalled over by a frantic Mother who then proceeded to rub my chest area and all was fine! Mother heaved a sigh of relief as colour returned to her face and reprimanded me for giving her a heart attack. Oops.

Mother says I’ve improved by leaps and bounds. She says she’s thankful for not having to run a marathon and work up a sweat even before we go for our walks. Ok, so I was a bit of a pain in the ass previously, making Mother chase me to put the collar and leash on. I don’t like it! But she’s now come up with some method that includes a yummy beef liver treat at the end! She would loosen the collar until it’s a giant O then dangle the O by the leash in front of my face. Then she held the yumyum on the other side of the O. Of course, my mouth is watering already and I’d do just about anything for that little morsel of deliciousness so I put my head through the O and Mother would tighten it up and say I’m a good but greedy boy.

Also, Mother’s getting very slow in preparing to go for our walks, so now I sit by the door once the collar and leash is on and wait for her. Sort of pressuring her to move a little bit faster. I love walks! She gets very happy when she sees me waiting and then prolongs my agony by praising and fussing over me for sitting quietly by the door. Like hurry up woman!

Mother really needs to pushed sometimes. To get her to pack up her room, I destroyed the cardboard box holding her files that has been sitting in the corner for a year! The files fell all over the place and she had no choice but to tidy up that area. Hah! What a good son I am. I wonder what I should get her to clean up next.

So I finally talked Mother into letting me have my own website. She relented when I told her I’d keep barking until I got my web presence. This used to be her website, but haHA! I got my way again!

Mother’s been busy but that doesn’t seem to stop her from teaching me things and making sure I do my homework! Everyday before we go for our evening passeggiata (stroll), she would insist that I sit nicely while she puts on my walking garments, a pale blue collar and leash and my new yellow Muttluk boots (which are a tad on the large side). She’s been trying to bribe me with new treats she bought online – freeze dried beef liver. Yum.

Yesterday, I showed off my tracking skills by following this really stinky trail on the road. It led to a squished squirrel. You can still make out the head and actually, the poor dude’s expression as he passed. Poor thing. Mother freaked out of course and refused to let me near it.