Someone please give my Mother some ideas on what to train me. She’s hit some kind of rut. She’s bored with the old stuff and doesn’t want to work on improving and proofing them. Instead she insists on teaching my more stupid new tricks. Like this one.

Can anyone hear my howls of despair? Little girls?!? LITTLE GIRLS?!? Who’s a little girl! I’m a big manly macho man Randy Savage type Alpha male! Grrrr.

If you’re wondering how I was taught to do this, well, it was equally humiliating. Mother stuck a post it on my face, and as I pawed it, she clicked and gave me a treat. “Post its are too big and they don’t stick as well! You’re not going to paw your face unless it’s there. I need something transparent, something you can feel but can’t see… hmmm…” *Mother taps her chin*

“STICKY DOTS!” Huh? What the? Oh geez. It’s those clear little sticky dots that Grandpa’s company sells. Like thicker double sided coin sized scotch tape. Well, suffice to say, that worked. TOO WELL. *howls*

I’m not sure when it will get into Mother’s head that I’m wearing a thick double coated fur coat and spending a day at the beach where the sun shines the hottest is not my idea of fun! Does she realise that humans go and lie around in practically nothing? Teeny tiny pieces of cloth! Does she know that they do that because they are HOT?? As much as I’d like to take off my coat and sun tan, I can’t (and won’t. I’m a shy boy!) Here are some pictures of our most recent trip to Sentosa, Tanjong and Silosa beach (Mother’s way of making up to me for being away for so long).

I am so handsome, I really don’t know what to say. Look at that manly profile. WOW.

Mother decided to stop at Coastes so I can rest but I think that’s just an excuse for her to guzzle down a margarita. At least she thought of me and ordered bbq chicken wings and some ice cubes! Yum. Their chicken wings and thin crust pizza ROCK!

Again, we were not short of stupid people making “woof woof” sounds. Really. I bark because I’m a dog. You bark because you’re a retarded moron?

We walked the whole length of the beach from Tanjong beach at the Sentosa Resort and Spa all the way to Siloso beach at Rasa Sentosa Resort.

Then Mother thought it would be fun (her idea of fun not mine) to go to the Underwater World. There was a pond of turtles there and I must admit, those creatures fascinate me! Mother was afraid I was going to jump in because I actually put my 2 paws on the rocks to get a closer look. She brought me down the steps to see them in the underwater enclosure. Wooo. I want to be a fish! They looked so carefree drifting through the water!

There was a guy carrying a snake near the pond. Mother asked if I wanted to take a picture of a snake draped around my neck for $6! No. Thank. You.  I’d rather not die today.

“Maybe I should set up a table and charge people to take pictures with YOU, boy. You’re gathering alot of attention!” said Mother. And I was. I was like a celebrity. Everyone flocked towards me and asked to pet me. If I could I would lift my paw and do the Queen’s wave. Careful now, don’t mess the fur.

“Ooh! Look! A shark!” A shark?? WHERE?!

Sigh. The humiliation. At least she didn’t make me sit on it or something. Or pretend to bite it or whatever tourists do to shark models.

We stayed in Sentosa till about 8pm, doing equally stupid things of course, while we waited for Father to pick us up. I wished Father could have come earlier!! Sigh.

Here’s a nice shot of ME. And the beach at night.

Mother and Father are back! After leaving me to fend the wild (ok, maybe not so wild) by meself for 12 days, they have finally come home! They went off to the UK and to some places in Scotland and England.

Mother said they visited a lovely couple with FOUR SHELTIES! Hmpf. I feel betrayed. Mother gushed about this handsome male called Quito and how Bouba’s so focussed and how Lizzie has got a herding streak and how Luna’s so sweet. HMPF. I think she didn’t miss me at all! She spent some hours with the Fleurdemai shelties playing with them and patting them, while I sit pining away, waiting for them, jumping up and running out at every little sound outside. HMPF. I’ll show her! I’ll ignore her today!

Mother said also that they drove around the countryside alot. This might explain why all the toys she brought back were livestock. She got me a rubber pig that oinks, a lamb fleece pull toy and a squawking fowl (Mother says alot of this end up as road kill) amongst others. She said she thought pets kingdom at Harrod’s rocked! And that there were soooo many things there! She wanted to buy more stuff but Father said there was no more space in the luggage. Bah. Bring bigger bags, people!

When Mother came home and I was chewing and licking her hands, I almost cracked my teeth on a rock. She’s now got this sparkly bling thing on her hand. Mother very excited told me that Father “proposed”. I don’t know what he “proposed” tho’, coz she didn’t say anything after that. Weird. *shrugs*