(Scene: Mother snoring sleeping, me pacing the bed.)

Me: Mother.. *nudges her face with my nose* Mother wake up.

Mother: *grumble mumble* mm.. nnn..

Me: Hello, Mother! Wakey wakey! *nudges her face again* Mother!

Mother: *mumble* Go away boy.

(repeat above for another 15 minutes)

Me: *more frantic* MOTHER! WAKE UP!

Mother: (no response)

Me: *tries to get off the bed by climbing down the bedside table*

(Something clatters to the floor.)

Mother: What the. *stirs* What do you want Romeo..

Me: MUMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! *nudges her face again and looks desperately at the floor from the bed*

(Mother grumbles and airlifts me off the bed onto the floor.)

Me: *runs to the peetray* AAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Ooh oh wait wait for it.. *sputter sputter… ploop ploop ploooop* AAAHHHHHHhhhh. Relief at last.

Mother: *stares at the contents that fell out of my body, understanding dawning on her face* Ooohhh. *sheepish* Sorry boy, mummy forgot to give you enough bone with your rich lamb shank dinner. Teehee. Oopsie. Good thing you know not to do it on the bed! How long did you have to control? You didn’t take long to wake me up did you? Heehee.

Me: -.- So. Not. Funny. *punishes Mother by making her wash my furry butt at 5am in the morning*

(The End.)

Before I was a dog Mom:
I made and ate hot meals unmolested.
I had unstained, unfurred clothes.
I had quiet conversations on the phone,
even if the doorbell rang.

Teehee. She can forget about a new rug too – I love digging at that as well!

A couple of weeks back, Ichigo and his family joined us for a swim at Club4Paws! We had the place to ourselves and we had so much fun! Funnily though, I’ve met Ichigo sooo many times before (he goes to West Coast dog run all the time too), and I’ve never played with him. But that day, we were playfighting all the way! Mother hadn’t seen me “boxing” before – she was very amused. She didn’t think I had it in me. Hmpf. I showed her! I don’t always play like a girl!! Mother says though, if you watch my tail in the videos you can see that I’m a bit more of a pansy than Ichigo. His tail almost never went down! I know that I was pissing him off at some point because the playing got more rough and growly and snappy! In both videos below, I am the noisy barky one always with my mouth open chasing Ichigo. Easy to spot eh?

Today we went to the pool again and met another West Coast dog run regular. I forget his name, we never play together. He looks like a german shepherd doberman pinscher cross. He came to the pool today with his dad and his human siblings wearing a choke chain and a leash. They never took the leash off. Instead his father dragged the pup unceremoniously into the pool (cue choking gagging sounds – when I say drag I really mean drag). Of course the pup moved his ass when he felt the pressure closing off his throat and windpipe. His lovely family then proceeded to DRAG the pup by the leash across the length of the pool. The pup is no Michael Phelps. He didn’t like and didn’t really know how to swim (like me before, just hitting the water with his paws struggling to keep his head above the water). Mother stood shocked and speechless. She knew if she said something she’d get yelled at, and her aggro day was Friday, and it had passed so we left the pool. She didn’t want to watch this dangerous method of “training” any more.

In the car, she ranted about how she didn’t understand how people can continue to argue the point that choke chains are perfectly fine if the user knows how to use it, when it’s so widely available without so much as a small “how-to” tag. Fact of the matter is, the vast majority of the people don’t know how to use it and it should not be a tool used for training by the masses. It should not be sold over the counter at all. Out of 10 random people using choke chains 9 will pull the dog to compliance by the chain, effectively strangulating the poor dog, instead of giving it a quick tug as pro-choke chain people will say is the correct method of using the chain. I don’t know why these people can’t be a little more patient. It took Mother only 4 sessions at the pool to get me swimming ON MY OWN. By the 4 session, I was moving off into the deeper end and pushing myself into the water without any hands on me, without any leash. All it took was lotsa smelly treats and Mother’s “Yay! Go Romeo! You’re the next Michael Phelps!” and her singing the Finding Nemo “Just Keep Swimming” song. I don’t even need treats now – I just get into the water by myself and swim to the other end without even getting a whiff of liver. Never once did I have to worry about being strangled while being surrounded by what I had feared.

Mother has put a page up containing photos of me through the ages (some are pretty darn embarassing). She says I’ve grown ALOT and that it’s amazing I was this small fat furball just a year ago. I’m not sure if there’s a compliment in there somewhere.

You can find the link to the photos on the right side of the website or here (because I know you’re lazy!)

Mother: “Wowee Romeo, this stuff is great! Who’d have thought a dog’s grooming product would work so well on human hair too!” *rubs Romeo’s fur serum over hair*

Romeo: “…..”

Mother: “Seriously! This Silk Spirits serum by Chris Christensen rocks! It smoothens my hair (and your fur) and adds a wee bit of gloss, plus it smells divine! Look at mummy’s hair – so soft and smooth!” *tosses head left and right* “Where did we buy this again? Oh yea, Pet Lovers’ Centre. I’m so getting myself my own bottle!”

Romeo: “…..”