Mother: “Wowee Romeo, this stuff is great! Who’d have thought a dog’s grooming product would work so well on human hair too!” *rubs Romeo’s fur serum over hair*

Romeo: “…..”

Mother: “Seriously! This Silk Spirits serum by Chris Christensen rocks! It smoothens my hair (and your fur) and adds a wee bit of gloss, plus it smells divine! Look at mummy’s hair - so soft and smooth!” *tosses head left and right* “Where did we buy this again? Oh yea, Pet Lovers’ Centre. I’m so getting myself my own bottle!”

Romeo: “…..”

I can’t tell you how extremely glad Mother didn’t take nudey bath shots of me! But she did take some of me soaking wet (girls, think of it as me in a towel) for some “experiment”.

“You know, Romeo. By the time you’re 16, I would have spent over 32 days blow drying your ass if I bathed you twice a week 32 days!! That’s one whole month! And then some!”

Thinking this is a great big waste of her time (as if fingernail painting - sitting around completely handicapped, not being able to use your hands for two hours - is any better) Mother went out and bought a mammoth industrial strength fur blower for me! It’s from a brand called Aeolus and it cost her an arm and a leg (or so she’s been whining). 

This thing looks like and sounds like a vacuum cleaner! (Kayla, tell your mum my Mother takes back what she said about it being fairly quiet! She must be gone abit deaf after hearing the price.)

I don’t like it. It’s like a monster with a tentacle out to get me. But still, see Exhibit A - Mother’s Test Subject.

 Me, the wet rag. Having had too go through the painful ordeal of being wet, lathered and rinsed. And then, conditioned and rinsed. Ugh.

The dryer freaks me out! I ran around and tried to defen.. I mean, attack the snake monster! I the macho one, strike first! Mother tried to keep me quiet with treats and it worked for awhile.

So, 10 minutes later, I looked like this.

Look at my squinty eye. PLEASE LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I AM NOT RACIST OR DOING SOME CHINESE EYES THING! I am not like some immature young actresses (who act in hit high school type series for a well known cartoon empire *cough*)/actors who are insensitive to the different races. Tsk. I’ve always known dogs have more brains.

Anyway, this is a close up of my fur after 10 mins. Mother was quite pleased. She was very impressed when she felt water droplets flying off my fur. The cold setting wicks moisture off the fur apparently, while the heat setting dries the fur. Mother decided to wick then dry.

Usually with Mother’s handheld Panasonic ionic hairdryer, the inside of my fur will still be wet after 10 mins (heck, 20 mins) of drying. But after 10 mins with the new blower, the insides are already 2/3rds dry. Mother’s joyful “woohoo!” could be heard echoing through the quiet neighbourhood at midnight.

It took only 35 minutes compared to the 2 hours normally, to get me dry with her new toy. The fur behind my ears were dry, even my armpits (Mother has this weird obsession with drying my armpits - something about making sure they don’t tangle and get matted). With the reduction is ass-drying time, Mother calculated that she’ll only have spent 9 days drying me off. She’s chuffed. But you know, her maths sucks. I’m not sure you should trust her calculations. 

Now, I look like THIS. *shoulders back, broad grin, beaming* “Come on Romeo, work it, work the camera boy.”

Hey Mother! I’m home! *takes off leash* I think need a bath. 

Mum? Mum! It’s me! Your beloved Romeo! *blinks* MUM! Wait! 

Why are you screaming and running away?? 

Dirty wet rat? What dirty wet rat?!? Where!! *looks around*

The thing my Mother indulges in the most is shopping online (right now she’s looking for stuff for my birthday party which she is planning - MARCH 22 (Sunday) people! Jot that down in your diaries!).

I asked Mother where she buys stuff from me and she gave me a little list:

1. Trixie + Peanut
2. The Puppy Shop
3. Amazon
4. Coastal Pet Supplies on Amazon.com
5. KV Vet Supply on Amazon.com
6. SitStay - This one only accepts US credit cards but Mother did a wire money transfer through the bank.
7. Haute Hound
8. 2 Hounds Design
9. Clean Run - Alot of agility related stuff
10. Ralph Lauren (Pets) - Mother bought me polo tees so I will look like Father. Sigh.

I think Mother plans on adding more to the list. Stay tuned??

This is going to be a long post, so bear with me puppies. It has been an exciting last 2 weeks!

First off, MERRY CHRISTMAS FUR FRIENDS! Mother put me in a silly santa hat and bribed me with tons of treats to sit still so she can snap a picture. I think out of the 2958 pictures she took, only 2 were usable. *snigger* Guess how many treats I got to eat because I wouldn’t sit still? I’m so smart I can’t believe it sometimes.

It as a nice first Christmas! I love the christmas tree but it was fenced off for fear that I might topple it by playing tug with the branches. My gifts sat beneath the tree until Christmas eve when Mother and her family had their Christmas eve turkey

 dinner (which I was not allowed to partake in - what’s wrong with jumping up on the table to grab a bite - Mother kept making me liedown next to her every time I hopped up to look at (and try to steal) the festive goodies until I got tired and went to get my chew toy and settled down next to her).

That’s me enthusiastically ripping off wrapping paper in front of the mousies (who got to eat the damn turkey). I got some yummy treats from Grandpa and Grandma this Christmas! And 3 annoying toys from Mother. Why couldn’t she get me something I could eat! Instead I got 3 Nina Ottoson puzzles that hide treats which I have to use my Harvard brain to get out. Pffft. Seriously Mother, did you think I can’t get past a couple of sliding tiles to the treats below? Just because I like to scratch at it and chew it and am more proficient in pulling the tiles towards me instead of sliding it away doesn’t mean I can’t get to the treats so stop giving me that “oh my god you did it!” look.

New Year’s day was spent trying not to drown. MOTHER TRIED TO DROWN ME AT CLUB4PAWS! She kept saying “Romeo! Want to go swimming?” What the heck is swimming anyway?? Is it being lured with treats to stand on all fours in shallow water? Or being carried further out into the giant bath tub and let go off to paddle and fling my paws around for dear life?? To be honest, I didn’t have much of a problem with getting into the pool. Just the step that is that leads to the deeper part of the pool. I can get my feet wet, no problemo! But I’m not too keen on this whole paddling in water thing. Mother tried to feed me an entire bag of treats there to make me feel better throughout my whole watery ordeal. She was explaining to Father that this has to be a positive experience for me. I’m not sure she succeeded! But I did get better at the paddling though. I started off looking like a drowning rat throwing my legs out everywhere but after a couple of times of Mother supporting my belly (AND THEN LETTING GO - hmpf) I think I got the whole “swimming” thing. I still swim for dear life towards the steps of course. Maybe after a few more tries I’ll enjoy paddling around the giant tub. That’s me looking like the wet dog that I was.

Speaking of wet, Mother is trying this new shampoo and conditioner, Les Pooch, that she got at my furdressers/manicurists/pedicurists, Petstylist at Holland Grove. It makes me smell really nice and quite manly, if I do say so myself. Mother loves that it makes my fur soft. I suppose that would come in handy when I turn my charm on the ladies. It’s not cheap though and Mother bemoans the fact that I have enough fur to cover a football field and tries to dilute the stuff to make it last just a wee bit longer.

We got a new trainer! From Puppylove! My good friend Taylor is also being trained by her! The trainer is really nice and she doesn’t use methods like leash tugging or force Mother to put a prong collar on me. She uses good old positive reinforcement using the clicker and negative punishment (time outs, ignoring me, etc) as opposed to positive punishment which is actively doing something to punish me (like smacking me or tugging the leash, etc). What I got from the class was lots and lots of treats! We learnt the following things on our first class:

1. Recall / the Name Game

Mother cannot call me to come to her anymore unless she has a delicious treat with her! She is now carrying a small pouch of treats and a clicker with her whenever she’s at home. It’s mostly because she realised she used the “come” command rather often and caught herself doing it a few time then running to the nearest treat jar. Teeheehee. Father also got a shelling from Mother for always asking me to come. It’s too funny! I think their trying to make me think that every time they call me to come, I will always get a treat, so why wouldn’t I want to go to them? That’s pretty smart I have to admit. I don’t mind the treats either!

Mother is also supposed (as homework! She likes homework, or so she says) to play the Name Game with me and other people. All the humans should sit in a circle or something a short distance apart and take turns calling me to come to them. They can only say “Romeo Come!” ONCE. They are not allowed to repeat the command but they can make stupid noises or wave their arms to get my attention and hopefully I’ll go over to them! When I do go to them, I get a treat! Each person will call me to him/her randomly to throw me off apparently so I don’t think there’s a pattern. Mother was told to work in a low distraction area first, like in the house, and slowly widen the distance between the people until she can call me from one end of the house and I’ll come running! Then she is to do it outdoors where there are more people/dogs/distractions and start again with the small circle and work it up until I will come when called from afar. I’m cool with any game where I get tons of treats!

2. Loose leash walking

Mother never actually trained me to do this coz I’m a born gentleman and I don’t drag her down the street and make her totter behind unglamorously. Once in a while when a fresh pile of poop catches my nose I would tug her a little towards it, but that’s as far as I will pull. She tried to stop me from doing that by standing stock still, but she thought that was never very effective with me. Mother thinks that it’s kind of stupid to walk a dog on heel all the time and doesn’t mind that I stop and smell poop and catch up on pee news by the lamp posts, which was why she found the trainer’s method very good - it encourages the dog to walk next to the human but the dog is never punished for enjoying itself a bit by wandering further from the human on the walk.

She was taught during our lesson to click and treat every time I fall in next to her and walk beside her. Mother now imagines that there are 2 boxes on her left and right and if I walk within those boxes, I get rewarded! I also get rewarded every time I look at her while walking. Mother has been diligently practising this since last weekend and she said I’m like a new dog by the 2nd walk we tried this technique! Yes, it’s true. I’m now more inclined to walk right next to Mother, often right past where I would usually stop and sniff and pee. Sometimes I go so close it’s like I’m walking between her legs, hoping that will get me more treats! I also look at her more too. She really likes that. She thinks I’m great! 

3. Targeting

Mother has taught me to nose her palm wherever she puts it. She’ll stick her open hand out and say “Romeo, here!” and I’ll walk right over and put my nose on her palm. She uses it to position me further away from the door for a sit stay so I don’t get hit when she opens it for us to go out. The trainer taught Mother how to get me to target a coaster (any smallish flat thing can be used) with my nose on the first lesson! It was pretty easy for me since I already knew how to do it with Mother’s hand. Mother is hoping I get real good at it then she can try to get me to nose things like light switches or cabinets to close them. That woman is getting real lazy! The trainer said that once I’m really good at nosing the coaster when held up by hand, Mother can try sticking the coaster on walls, etc and add more distance between me and the coaster (making me walk again!).

Can’t wait for our next lesson!

I’m getting real good at jumping up onto Mother’s couch in her room now. Up and down, easy peasy. I can even climb onto the top of the back of the sofa! I really like standing on the sofa and looking out the window and stuff going on downstairs. Mother keeps calling me “kaypoh” which means busybody I think. She was hoping she can save money by letting me use it as my bed but yesterday while I was lying on it with her sitting next to me, I tried to roll over for a belly rub, except my ass rolled off the sofa and Mother had a great big laugh. For that, I’m making her buy me a new bed.

I’m taking this opportunity to say to my buddy Taylor, GET WELL SOON OL’ BOY! He went for The Big Snip on Monday and Mother said his mum was worried but that he’s doing ok. I hope I get to see big brother Taylor at the next Sheltie hook-up!

I am now officially a MAN. Ok, maybe not. I mean MALE DOG. My balls have decided to show themselves much to my perverted Mother’s delight! They are dangling there for show now. Phew! Had me worried there for a while.

Today we went to the West Coast Dog Run again. Mother thinks it is ok to drag me out at 8am in the morning. But I got to meet many many dogs today, surprisingly! Including Millie the labradoodle that I’m in love with. Mother then took me (all muddy) to the groomers and she later complained that my haircut costs more than hers. What the hey - I look great! And I smell FANTASTIC!! I should try to wow the girls tomorrow at the Sheltie gathering to be held at Bishan Dog Run.

Tonight I showed Mother what a great boy I am. I helped her find a cockroach in her room. I alerted her to it by staring intently at an area. I should have barked but that’ll scare the bug away won’t it? Boy did I get alot of lovin’ for that! Mother actually wanted to train me to find roaches, but then decided otherwise when she realised that would mean she actually has to be in close contact with one. She hates them. I guess that was my way of apologising to Mother for giving her a heart attack when I start breathing really noisily, like I had trouble breathing or was choking during pre-agility class. She turned so pale I thought she was going die. I don’t know what I did - I think I must have snorted in some grass or something got stuff somewhere, but our trainer was signalled over by a frantic Mother who then proceeded to rub my chest area and all was fine! Mother heaved a sigh of relief as colour returned to her face and reprimanded me for giving her a heart attack. Oops.