I’m not sure when it will get into Mother’s head that I’m wearing a thick double coated fur coat and spending a day at the beach where the sun shines the hottest is not my idea of fun! Does she realise that humans go and lie around in practically nothing? Teeny tiny pieces of cloth! Does she know that they do that because they are HOT?? As much as I’d like to take off my coat and sun tan, I can’t (and won’t. I’m a shy boy!) Here are some pictures of our most recent trip to Sentosa, Tanjong and Silosa beach (Mother’s way of making up to me for being away for so long).

I am so handsome, I really don’t know what to say. Look at that manly profile. WOW.

Mother decided to stop at Coastes so I can rest but I think that’s just an excuse for her to guzzle down a margarita. At least she thought of me and ordered bbq chicken wings and some ice cubes! Yum. Their chicken wings and thin crust pizza ROCK!

Again, we were not short of stupid people making “woof woof” sounds. Really. I bark because I’m a dog. You bark because you’re a retarded moron?

We walked the whole length of the beach from Tanjong beach at the Sentosa Resort and Spa all the way to Siloso beach at Rasa Sentosa Resort.

Then Mother thought it would be fun (her idea of fun not mine) to go to the Underwater World. There was a pond of turtles there and I must admit, those creatures fascinate me! Mother was afraid I was going to jump in because I actually put my 2 paws on the rocks to get a closer look. She brought me down the steps to see them in the underwater enclosure. Wooo. I want to be a fish! They looked so carefree drifting through the water!

There was a guy carrying a snake near the pond. Mother asked if I wanted to take a picture of a snake draped around my neck for $6! No. Thank. You.  I’d rather not die today.

“Maybe I should set up a table and charge people to take pictures with YOU, boy. You’re gathering alot of attention!” said Mother. And I was. I was like a celebrity. Everyone flocked towards me and asked to pet me. If I could I would lift my paw and do the Queen’s wave. Careful now, don’t mess the fur.

“Ooh! Look! A shark!” A shark?? WHERE?!

Sigh. The humiliation. At least she didn’t make me sit on it or something. Or pretend to bite it or whatever tourists do to shark models.

We stayed in Sentosa till about 8pm, doing equally stupid things of course, while we waited for Father to pick us up. I wished Father could have come earlier!! Sigh.

Here’s a nice shot of ME. And the beach at night.

Mother took me to Sentosa island a couple of weeks back! It wasn’t really the first time I’ve seen the sea (we went to East Coast park ages ago for the first sheltie gathering I attended).

I quite like frolicking in the water! The bubbly surf moves! So enticingly! Out into the sea, then back onto the shore, out again, then back. I was hoping I could grab me some of that but all I got was a mouthful of salt water. Tasty!

Mother was so not prepared to go to a beach. She didn’t bring towels or anything, so I had to air dry my butt. We walked through crowds dripping! So unglam Mother. 

There was this one boy who was walking behind us that kept making stupid irritating “woof woof” noises like it’s a rabid dog. *rolls eyes* Mother got quite annoyed so she sat me down on the side of the path and as they walked by, she made me bark loudly! ROAWWRRRRR (or something like that *ahem*) The boy jumped and his father quickly turned to him and said “hurry up, walk faster”. TEE HEE HEE. Mother and I had a good chuckle. Don’t think just because I look like Lassie you can make fun of ME. 

 This is my stylo shot. I told Mother to take it. She couldn’t stop rolling her eyes at my vanity. I looked hot! And I was wearing a new collar and leash! Of course I want to capture my astounding handsomeness against a backdrop of blue sky, turquoise sea and sandy beach!

Ma! Look! Pretty girlies over there! Sentosa is great. All these young teenage girls come up to me and coo and say how cute and handsome I look and they pat me and make such a big fuss! While Mother stands there hands on her hips, rolling her eyes trying hard to not make it obvious that she is jealous she doesn’t have teenage boys fawning over her. I can’t help it if I’m gorgeous, Mother.

Last night we went for our usual walk but bumped into a caucasian girl (she looks about 7 years old) and her brother (who looks like he might be 5 but behaves like he’s 2). They were out looking for the (ick) cat, a black and white thing that apparently hasn’t been home in 2 days. They mustn’t love the cat very much because they stopped searching and came running to me saying “Ooh! COLLIE! I love Collies!” Who the heck is a Collie?? I’m not a Collie darnit! I’m a SHETLAND SHEEPDOG. Get your facts right, girl! Still, she petted me and the boy started screaming in a happy hysterical way, which made my body drop into a playbow. For some reason, I wanted to play with that hyperactive screaming PJ clad boy.

Minutes later tho’, a small black shadow came hurtling down the pavement towards me. It was a french bulldog. The kids’ dog, Frankie. Frankie the Frenchie. I like French bulldogs. They can look quite cute (a little more so than their English cousins), but this one, Frankie, had little life or intelligence (to me) behind his beady black eyes. The kids got him in November and haven’t been able to toilet train him. DOH. C’mon Frankie, how hard is it to pee and poop in just one place? Frankie also lacked social skills. That one chased me around trying to get his head under my belly to sniff my sausage and eggs. What the?? Lay off buddy! We just met! Go easy! I didn’t want to scare the dude so I just ran around Mother in circles causing us to get entangled (oh yes, the girl went to get his halter and leash sometime during our meeting). It really amazes me when I know “Drop It” better than a human child. Mother kept telling the boy who was holding on to the leash to let go because we were so entangled and I was clearly not enjoying the face to face tango Frankie and I were doing. Except, that vapid boy just held on! When Mother says Drop It, YOU DROP THE LEASH you stupid child! Also, did I mention that the father of the children was standing there the whole time talking on his mobile?

I think Mother is too tolerant of kids because after that episode she continued to stand there and wait while the girl ran home to get Frankie’s treats to show Mother what Frankie eats (or actually doesn’t eat, according to her). Well, I sure helped him. I took everything she had! Then she asked about the clicker Mother was holding and asked if she could try clicking too. I wanted to scream “NO MOTHER! NOOooooo!!” but it was too late. She handed the thing to her and explained how to use it. Thankfully, the girl isn’t too daft. She clicked once as I sat and got my treat, but then clicked again and Mother scrambled to stuff something in my mouth. I really should have seen this coming. No, MOTHER should have seen this coming – the BOY now wants to click too! “Ooh! Can I click? Can I click? Can I click?” OVER AND OVER while Mother tries to calm me down (coz you’d expect that when I heard that I went abit nuts). Such an annoying child. I also don’t know what was going through Mother’s mind when she HANDED THE CLICKER TO HIM. Oh my dog, kill me now. No prizes for guessing that the peabrain boy happily clicked away while Mother hurried to pop treats into my mouth. I could see Mother got a bit annoyed with him (it was about time!) and she took the clicker back. Except, again, should have seen this coming, the boy kept saying “can I try again? can I try again?” NO YOU MAY NOT YOU CRAZY KID! Wait, what? Mother no! You hold it while he clicks? Are you sure? Ok ok. Fine”. One final click from the jumping screaming monkey while Mother held the clicker and she said “We’ll let you know if we see your cat. BYE NOW.” and left. 

We went home, me slightly flustered, Mother slight guilty (for putting me through kinder-hell). So we trained and she played games with me, like this one in the video where I have to use my super nose to find which hand holds the treats!

This is going to be a long post, so bear with me puppies. It has been an exciting last 2 weeks!

First off, MERRY CHRISTMAS FUR FRIENDS! Mother put me in a silly santa hat and bribed me with tons of treats to sit still so she can snap a picture. I think out of the 2958 pictures she took, only 2 were usable. *snigger* Guess how many treats I got to eat because I wouldn’t sit still? I’m so smart I can’t believe it sometimes.

It as a nice first Christmas! I love the christmas tree but it was fenced off for fear that I might topple it by playing tug with the branches. My gifts sat beneath the tree until Christmas eve when Mother and her family had their Christmas eve turkey

 dinner (which I was not allowed to partake in – what’s wrong with jumping up on the table to grab a bite – Mother kept making me liedown next to her every time I hopped up to look at (and try to steal) the festive goodies until I got tired and went to get my chew toy and settled down next to her).

That’s me enthusiastically ripping off wrapping paper in front of the mousies (who got to eat the damn turkey). I got some yummy treats from Grandpa and Grandma this Christmas! And 3 annoying toys from Mother. Why couldn’t she get me something I could eat! Instead I got 3 Nina Ottoson puzzles that hide treats which I have to use my Harvard brain to get out. Pffft. Seriously Mother, did you think I can’t get past a couple of sliding tiles to the treats below? Just because I like to scratch at it and chew it and am more proficient in pulling the tiles towards me instead of sliding it away doesn’t mean I can’t get to the treats so stop giving me that “oh my god you did it!” look.

New Year’s day was spent trying not to drown. MOTHER TRIED TO DROWN ME AT CLUB4PAWS! She kept saying “Romeo! Want to go swimming?” What the heck is swimming anyway?? Is it being lured with treats to stand on all fours in shallow water? Or being carried further out into the giant bath tub and let go off to paddle and fling my paws around for dear life?? To be honest, I didn’t have much of a problem with getting into the pool. Just the step that is that leads to the deeper part of the pool. I can get my feet wet, no problemo! But I’m not too keen on this whole paddling in water thing. Mother tried to feed me an entire bag of treats there to make me feel better throughout my whole watery ordeal. She was explaining to Father that this has to be a positive experience for me. I’m not sure she succeeded! But I did get better at the paddling though. I started off looking like a drowning rat throwing my legs out everywhere but after a couple of times of Mother supporting my belly (AND THEN LETTING GO – hmpf) I think I got the whole “swimming” thing. I still swim for dear life towards the steps of course. Maybe after a few more tries I’ll enjoy paddling around the giant tub. That’s me looking like the wet dog that I was.

Speaking of wet, Mother is trying this new shampoo and conditioner, Les Pooch, that she got at my furdressers/manicurists/pedicurists, Petstylist at Holland Grove. It makes me smell really nice and quite manly, if I do say so myself. Mother loves that it makes my fur soft. I suppose that would come in handy when I turn my charm on the ladies. It’s not cheap though and Mother bemoans the fact that I have enough fur to cover a football field and tries to dilute the stuff to make it last just a wee bit longer.

We got a new trainer! From Puppylove! My good friend Taylor is also being trained by her! The trainer is really nice and she doesn’t use methods like leash tugging or force Mother to put a prong collar on me. She uses good old positive reinforcement using the clicker and negative punishment (time outs, ignoring me, etc) as opposed to positive punishment which is actively doing something to punish me (like smacking me or tugging the leash, etc). What I got from the class was lots and lots of treats! We learnt the following things on our first class:

1. Recall / the Name Game

Mother cannot call me to come to her anymore unless she has a delicious treat with her! She is now carrying a small pouch of treats and a clicker with her whenever she’s at home. It’s mostly because she realised she used the “come” command rather often and caught herself doing it a few time then running to the nearest treat jar. Teeheehee. Father also got a shelling from Mother for always asking me to come. It’s too funny! I think their trying to make me think that every time they call me to come, I will always get a treat, so why wouldn’t I want to go to them? That’s pretty smart I have to admit. I don’t mind the treats either!

Mother is also supposed (as homework! She likes homework, or so she says) to play the Name Game with me and other people. All the humans should sit in a circle or something a short distance apart and take turns calling me to come to them. They can only say “Romeo Come!” ONCE. They are not allowed to repeat the command but they can make stupid noises or wave their arms to get my attention and hopefully I’ll go over to them! When I do go to them, I get a treat! Each person will call me to him/her randomly to throw me off apparently so I don’t think there’s a pattern. Mother was told to work in a low distraction area first, like in the house, and slowly widen the distance between the people until she can call me from one end of the house and I’ll come running! Then she is to do it outdoors where there are more people/dogs/distractions and start again with the small circle and work it up until I will come when called from afar. I’m cool with any game where I get tons of treats!

2. Loose leash walking

Mother never actually trained me to do this coz I’m a born gentleman and I don’t drag her down the street and make her totter behind unglamorously. Once in a while when a fresh pile of poop catches my nose I would tug her a little towards it, but that’s as far as I will pull. She tried to stop me from doing that by standing stock still, but she thought that was never very effective with me. Mother thinks that it’s kind of stupid to walk a dog on heel all the time and doesn’t mind that I stop and smell poop and catch up on pee news by the lamp posts, which was why she found the trainer’s method very good – it encourages the dog to walk next to the human but the dog is never punished for enjoying itself a bit by wandering further from the human on the walk.

She was taught during our lesson to click and treat every time I fall in next to her and walk beside her. Mother now imagines that there are 2 boxes on her left and right and if I walk within those boxes, I get rewarded! I also get rewarded every time I look at her while walking. Mother has been diligently practising this since last weekend and she said I’m like a new dog by the 2nd walk we tried this technique! Yes, it’s true. I’m now more inclined to walk right next to Mother, often right past where I would usually stop and sniff and pee. Sometimes I go so close it’s like I’m walking between her legs, hoping that will get me more treats! I also look at her more too. She really likes that. She thinks I’m great! 

3. Targeting

Mother has taught me to nose her palm wherever she puts it. She’ll stick her open hand out and say “Romeo, here!” and I’ll walk right over and put my nose on her palm. She uses it to position me further away from the door for a sit stay so I don’t get hit when she opens it for us to go out. The trainer taught Mother how to get me to target a coaster (any smallish flat thing can be used) with my nose on the first lesson! It was pretty easy for me since I already knew how to do it with Mother’s hand. Mother is hoping I get real good at it then she can try to get me to nose things like light switches or cabinets to close them. That woman is getting real lazy! The trainer said that once I’m really good at nosing the coaster when held up by hand, Mother can try sticking the coaster on walls, etc and add more distance between me and the coaster (making me walk again!).

Can’t wait for our next lesson!

I’m getting real good at jumping up onto Mother’s couch in her room now. Up and down, easy peasy. I can even climb onto the top of the back of the sofa! I really like standing on the sofa and looking out the window and stuff going on downstairs. Mother keeps calling me “kaypoh” which means busybody I think. She was hoping she can save money by letting me use it as my bed but yesterday while I was lying on it with her sitting next to me, I tried to roll over for a belly rub, except my ass rolled off the sofa and Mother had a great big laugh. For that, I’m making her buy me a new bed.

I’m taking this opportunity to say to my buddy Taylor, GET WELL SOON OL’ BOY! He went for The Big Snip on Monday and Mother said his mum was worried but that he’s doing ok. I hope I get to see big brother Taylor at the next Sheltie hook-up!

My mother is weird. She thinks I’m a cam-whore even though she’s the one with the aposable thumbs and the camera phone. Still, I must admit that I look downright handsome! (see photos for evidence)

Mother has been shopping for me online alot. She’s already bought me TWO christmas gifts, and a santa hat which I am supposed to wear for our next Sheltie gathering. NOoooo!!! I need to maintain my macho image!! AND she also bought this little red heart pendant that says “best friends” which comes in 2 halves so she can wear one and I can wear the other half. THAT’S SO GAY MOTHER. Still, what could I do but sit obediently as she clipped it on, cooing “ooh, we’re best friends aren’t we Romeo? Mummy looooves you.” Sigh.

In the spirit of trying new doggy things (including how to gay up a manly dog), Mother bought a martingale collar at the recommendation of several sheltie owners from the States. They raved about it and said even if their dog bolts, the collar won’t plop off the dog’s head from all the pulling. I don’t pull so I have no idea why Mother would need this. I think it’s because her father walked me one day when she was out of town and I wasn’t so obedient with him and the collar actually did come off (much to Mother’s horror). The one she got had a metal chain attached to the fabric collar. It’s pretty heavy for my neck! I don’t like it, and Mother was worried that the collar will slip off because of the weight of the chain. I told her to go buy a better all-fabric one, but she just threw up her hands and said “there’s just not much variety in Singapore!”. She’ll find a nice one for me online – one that will of course, match my leash!

Oh oh, Mother’s been very pervy lately. She’s had to rub my balls twice a day! I’ve got a fungal infection on my precious jewels. I think she takes too much pleasure in it really. It’s no fun getting this cold cream touching your sensitive baubles. She said it has cleared up abit so hopefully I won’t have to take much more of her molestation!

We had another Sheltie gathering yesterday morning! At Bishan Dog Run. Not many turned up – just Cuddles, babies Reyla and Ruthie,  Buddy, Prince, Meteor and Shadow the Border Collie. I had great fun being the big brother to Reyla and Ruthie! I think they like me. We were chasing each other (they were chasing me more!) all over the place! A corgi mix that was from the SPCA scared the babies quite a bit, so Mother said I should play with them to get them over the bad experience. I hope they are ok – it was their first Sheltie gathering!

An interesting thing happened tho – I witnessed my first dog fight! Sort of. Prince, Meteor and Shadow were barking at each other as they dragged Auntie J towards the dog run. When they were let loose in the dog run, Shadow attacked Meteor!! Prince tried to intervene and save his buddy too. Auntie J quickly and firmly got hold of Shadow (respect mah authoritah!) then Cuddles papa tried to grab hold of Meteor but he got bitten in the hand by Shadow! He says he’s ok tho’. Shadow finally dropped poor Meteor who yelped painfully and ran off to a corner to hide. I’m sure he had puncture marks under that thick coat of his. EVERYONE at the dog run was looking at us! Shadow is a very dominant dog! Barking and posturing the whole time! Auntie J had to keep him on a tight leash. I didn’t like that he bullied Meteor so I ran up to Shadow and started barking at him! He’s a bad boy! Mother then put her arms on her hips and yelled at me to stop being a hero! She and Auntie J said be careful or I’ll be bitten too! Mother shooed me away to play with the baby girls instead. Pfft. I want to be a superhero not a babysitter!

Prince spent most of his time at the dog run barking at Shadow while Meteor was hiding behind a tree or hanging back in the corner. If anyone went near him, he’d yelp! Poor Meteor. Apparently they fight alot at home too and Meteor always gets picked on but Prince always saves him. I think there’s a power struggle in that doggy household. Both Prince and Shadow are very dominant males.

Went for obedience training too. The trainer wanted Mother to use a prong collar on me, what the trainer called a “training collar”, but Mother told him no. She said she didn’t want to use it on me and the trainer said ok, but added that it’s not as painful as it looks and that Mother will really see a difference. Mother doesn’t think so, and she doesn’t think I need it! She was given the collar yesterday and she tried it on her thigh. She didn’t think it hurt but thought it was unnecessary to use physical discomfort when a simple No associated with a bad feeling will do!

She also said to me that I am very obedient already – I always listen to her and she doesn’t have to yank and drag me all over the place. She doesn’t expect me to be friggin’ Lassie, thank god! She’s seen other dogs who have been using this collar since day 1 of obedience training and their owners still have to pull and drag and they don’t listen to them at all.

Mother isn’t convinced that it really works and she thinks that there are other more effective methods. She believes that she would rather I listen to her because I want to (and I do) and in any case, she’s doing agility (the trainer wanted her to use it for pre-agility classes too) not to join competitions or for fame and glory on her part but for me to have some fun! Using a prong collar would make it NOT fun and unpleasant, so what’s the point? She promised me that she will never use a prong, choke or electric collar on me ever.

And to prove Mother right, I performed way better than my classmates yesterday! Hah! Suck it people! We were made to stand our front legs on a short stool and move our backlegs only and go around the stool (like the hands of a clock!). I could do anti-clockwise better!

I am now officially a MAN. Ok, maybe not. I mean MALE DOG. My balls have decided to show themselves much to my perverted Mother’s delight! They are dangling there for show now. Phew! Had me worried there for a while.

Today we went to the West Coast Dog Run again. Mother thinks it is ok to drag me out at 8am in the morning. But I got to meet many many dogs today, surprisingly! Including Millie the labradoodle that I’m in love with. Mother then took me (all muddy) to the groomers and she later complained that my haircut costs more than hers. What the hey – I look great! And I smell FANTASTIC!! I should try to wow the girls tomorrow at the Sheltie gathering to be held at Bishan Dog Run.

Tonight I showed Mother what a great boy I am. I helped her find a cockroach in her room. I alerted her to it by staring intently at an area. I should have barked but that’ll scare the bug away won’t it? Boy did I get alot of lovin’ for that! Mother actually wanted to train me to find roaches, but then decided otherwise when she realised that would mean she actually has to be in close contact with one. She hates them. I guess that was my way of apologising to Mother for giving her a heart attack when I start breathing really noisily, like I had trouble breathing or was choking during pre-agility class. She turned so pale I thought she was going die. I don’t know what I did – I think I must have snorted in some grass or something got stuff somewhere, but our trainer was signalled over by a frantic Mother who then proceeded to rub my chest area and all was fine! Mother heaved a sigh of relief as colour returned to her face and reprimanded me for giving her a heart attack. Oops.

Mother says I’ve improved by leaps and bounds. She says she’s thankful for not having to run a marathon and work up a sweat even before we go for our walks. Ok, so I was a bit of a pain in the ass previously, making Mother chase me to put the collar and leash on. I don’t like it! But she’s now come up with some method that includes a yummy beef liver treat at the end! She would loosen the collar until it’s a giant O then dangle the O by the leash in front of my face. Then she held the yumyum on the other side of the O. Of course, my mouth is watering already and I’d do just about anything for that little morsel of deliciousness so I put my head through the O and Mother would tighten it up and say I’m a good but greedy boy.

Also, Mother’s getting very slow in preparing to go for our walks, so now I sit by the door once the collar and leash is on and wait for her. Sort of pressuring her to move a little bit faster. I love walks! She gets very happy when she sees me waiting and then prolongs my agony by praising and fussing over me for sitting quietly by the door. Like hurry up woman!

Mother really needs to pushed sometimes. To get her to pack up her room, I destroyed the cardboard box holding her files that has been sitting in the corner for a year! The files fell all over the place and she had no choice but to tidy up that area. Hah! What a good son I am. I wonder what I should get her to clean up next.

So I finally talked Mother into letting me have my own website. She relented when I told her I’d keep barking until I got my web presence. This used to be her website, but haHA! I got my way again!

Mother’s been busy but that doesn’t seem to stop her from teaching me things and making sure I do my homework! Everyday before we go for our evening passeggiata (stroll), she would insist that I sit nicely while she puts on my walking garments, a pale blue collar and leash and my new yellow Muttluk boots (which are a tad on the large side). She’s been trying to bribe me with new treats she bought online – freeze dried beef liver. Yum.

Yesterday, I showed off my tracking skills by following this really stinky trail on the road. It led to a squished squirrel. You can still make out the head and actually, the poor dude’s expression as he passed. Poor thing. Mother freaked out of course and refused to let me near it.